Getting off the rollercoaster of control

My husband’s alcoholism and my son’s rebellion were the proverbial last straw that brought me to Al‑Anon. There, I met several compassionate, strong, wise, and accepting people who shared their experiences and listened to mine without judging or using it against me.

About two years ago, my life had become totally unmanageable. I blamed my husband and son for the chaos created in my life and in my mind. After joining Al‑Anon, I came to realize that my tendency to try to control events and people around me, along with my resistance to accept change, were the major contributors to my insanity.

For many years, I spent my energy trying to fight forces that I couldn’t control, such as parents quarreling, family scattering because of revolution and war in my home country, and being cut off from my homeland. I married someone who was culturally different from me, and found myself facing my husband’s alcoholism while raising a child.

Now, I am finally ready to stop fighting the things that are out of my control. I am ready to strengthen my ability to pick my battles wisely, and even not engaging in them. I am ready to take a deep breath, consider my options, discuss them with my Sponsor, and if necessary, act without remorse or regret. I am getting off the rollercoaster and adjusting my expectations. I have stopped forcing a rigid direction for my life.

I will take life “One Day at a Time.” I accept that I am powerless over alcohol, as well as many other events around me. I ask my Higher Power to help me cherish and appreciate my newfound serenity—Just for Today.

By Anonymous
The Forum, January 2017

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