Finding a productive path to help my grandchildren

Finding a productive path to help my grandchildren

ďThe one thing I really learned was not to feel sorry for the alcoholic.Ē

I spent most of my time wondering and worrying about my son. What was he up to now?
I wouldnít sleep soundly, waiting to hear him arrive home safely. When he moved out, there were hard feelings. Iíd still wonder about him. Iíd cry. Iíd jump whenever he called.

Today I still have a long way to go, but I find that Al Anon fortifies me with courage. I work at getting through todayóand I donít worry about my son. I still feel sadÖespecially when I think about my daughter-in-law and granddaughter. I see my son trying his best, but I see the downward spiral that alcohol can bring. I donít cry anymore for my son. Rather, my concern goes to my daughter-in-law and granddaughter. I try to focus on myself.

I have come to realize that alcohol made me hide feelings and sad memories of growing up, that alcoholic patterns continue on, and that this disease can be brutal. But the one thing I really learned was not to feel sorry for the alcoholic.

I have learned to respond differently to the effects of my sonís drinking.  When things go wrong I donít jump anymore. I donít try to resolve his problems. I donít try to help him mend the consequences of drinking. I think he may come to realize his alcohol problems if he learns to deal with them himself.

Instead of reacting to my sonís disease, I give love to the baby, and pray to my Higher Power for the courage to carry on each new day. Iím glad I came to Al-Anon.

By Dianne, Ontario

Feel free to reprint this article on your website or in your newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.